Right before I left home for University, I was given two beautiful framed pictures of the Greek Islands. For the last decade, these have hung proudly in every flat and house I have lived in. As a student in Dunedin, I would shiver in the cold of the flat and gaze at these pictures, imagining being there. Years spent gazing at these stunning images has grown a strong desire in me to go there. My husband and I were beginning to save for a trip to Europe when we got a word from God to sacrifice for our future children and save for a house instead. While the process of buying land and building a house has been anything but smooth, I have found myself staring at these pictures again, fueling that familiar daydream of the day when I finally feel that warm, white sand beneath my feet. The other day I was in that daydream and just felt I needed to hand it to God again. I know He's a perfect Father that gives us the desires of our heart, so I told him "God, I'm laying this down before you - if it were my choice I'd be there next year but I know that you love me so I just trust that you'll make it happen at some point.." The next morning, when my alarm went off, I saw this on the home screen of my phone. I had recently changed the version of my "Verse of the Day" app to the Message bible, as I had never read it before. I kid you not, this was the home screen of my phone. One day spent in Your house, this beautiful place of worship, beats thousands spent on Greek island beaches. I was instantly convicted. How many hours had I spent longing for those beaches when I had the Creator of that beauty in front of me all along? How many times had I daydreamed about tasting Greek food and seeing those incredible views, when I have a present invitation to taste and see that He is good? I have experienced the love of God in such a deep way, that I can honestly say He has loved me more in one single moment than the whole world could offer me in a lifetime. There's no comparison. I have found such peace, such joy, such bliss in His presence that the things of earth grow strangely dim. Yet, the subject of my favourite daydream was something I'm yet to experience rather than Someone greater than life itself. Why is that?? In ten years of these pictures on my wall, I'd been gazing at a beauty I haven't fully experienced, and out of this a desire had been birthed in my heart for more. What if that very process was what caused the psalmist to write these words? So deep within me are these lovesick longings, desires and daydreams of living in union with You. What I'm beginning to understand is the fruit that gazing upon something produces my heart. I honestly think until now, I've allowed some of my deepest encounters with God to remain glimpses instead of gazing. I can finally see why David's prayer was to gaze upon the beauty of the Lord rather than just to see it. He dwelled, he gazed, he meditated. And out of that place of abiding, of remaining, something was birthed in his heart until he was called a man after God's own heart. One thing I have asked of the Lord, and that I will seek: That I may dwell in the house of the Lord [in His presence] all the days of my life, To gaze upon the beauty [the delightful loveliness and majestic grandeur] of the Lord And to meditate in His temple. Because of this one revelation, I'm starting to revisit those places where He's given me glimpses. I'm meditating on that which I've seen, and it's causing me to daydream about what I'm yet to see. I'm learning to gaze on His beauty that I haven't fully experienced, and out of this a desire is being birthed in my heart for more. And as for those Greek Island beaches? After laying that one down completely for the idol it had become, He said to me, "Of course, you will have to visit one day to fully understand that scripture". Now I daydream of the moment when I see it for myself, and laugh at the truth that everyday up till that point, I had experienced the "better than" God.
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One of my favourite pass-times as a kid was writing. I used to make my own books and write poetry on our old type-writer. Thankfully both my writing and technology have come a long way!
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